Backspace Thought
by floatjetsam
Summary: They're more alike than they think.
1. Chapter 1

A/N This is so completely thrown together. I think it's a drabble... I think. lol

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><p>Derek's there... He's always there... But sometimes, sometimes it's not enough. I don't know...<p>

He's a good guy - in a way.

I don't mind that we fight, I really don't. I know I might seem like I do, but I don't.

I care about him...

- for some reason.

I mean, he's my stepbrother. Obviously, I'm suppose to care about him - but I think I care about him for a much, much bigger reason than that.

I came to the conclusion, at approximately 7:35 this morning, that I might...

Alright, this isn't very easy to type out...

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><p>Casey's in my life... She'll always be in my life... and, well, that doesn't really bother me.<p>

She's alright, I guess.

I mean, I don't really care about the arguments we get into... Actually, to be honest, I kind of like arguing with her...

- I have no fucking clue why I do, though.

Yeah, she's my stepsister. It's like mandatory that I care about her in some way_... _Right?

Damn it...

Why is this so fucking hard to write out?

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><p>Derek is disgusting. His whole character is flawed... Right down to the flipping shoes he wears.<p>

Those horrid, nasty things. I keep telling him to throw them out and buy a new pair, but does he listen to me? No, of course not.

_"These shoes have been in my family for decades - just like my old, smelly recliner. I never getting rid of them!"_

And don't even get me started with his eating habits.

He'll literally eat an entire bag of potato chips in one sitting. I don't know how he manages to stay in shape with a diet like that.

Derek is also a womanizer. He dates countless bimbos, then he has the nerve to bring them over to _our_ apartment - as if I won't mind!

* * *

><p>Casey is princess... And that's putting it mildly.<p>

First of all, she takes forever to order something when we go out to eat (which is rarely).

_"Hm, I think I'll have the chicken ceasar salad... But could you please put the chicken on the side and cut them up into tiny bite sized pieces? Oh, and I want low fat dressing, not the regular."_

And I know this might seem hard to believe, but Casey is a total flirt.

But not the good kind. No, no, no, no... I'm talking about the kind who pretends like she_ isn't_ flirting just to confuse the living fuck out of you.

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><p>With that aside, I must say there's something extremely likable about him...<p>

And that infuriates me to no end.

Because Derek isn't likable. He's not.

But somehow he_ always_ finds a way to make me smile just when I'm about to slam the door in his face or punch him in the arm.

I hate that.

* * *

><p>Casey's not that bad though.<p>

I don't know why, but she just isn't.

Like she can just_ look_ at me, and suddenly I'm not mad at her anymore.

It pisses me off.

* * *

><p>But I can't help it.<p>

Derek's... Charming.

* * *

><p>Casey's...<p>

Well, she's likable.

* * *

><p>There, I finally typed it out.<p>

* * *

><p>God, this looks so cheesy on paper.<p>

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><p>I think I'm going to just backspace this whole entire thing<p>

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><p>Fuck, why can't I throw it out.<p>

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><p>Come on, Casey, just hit that cute little backspace button and do it!<p>

* * *

><p>Use your eraser. That's what it's there for.<p>

* * *

><p>This is so ridiculous!<p>

* * *

><p>I feel like an idiot.<p>

* * *

><p>I guess this is it.<p>

* * *

><p>Time to face the facts, Derek.<p>

* * *

><p>I fell for my stepsibling.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** I guess this is going to be a chapter fic? lol enjoy!

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><p>Dear Journal,<p>

Ha, I can't believe I just wrote that.

Well, Casey and I had an... interesting night. I don't know how else to describe it.

It wasn't a bad night, but it also wasn't a_ good_ night... if that makes any sense.

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

I cannot find the words to describe how relieved I am that this awful night is over.

Hm... I guess that works.

Yes, it was an awful night indeed.

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><p>I was just chilling on the couch, watching some Jersey Shore (What? It's a guilty pleasure)<p>

When Casey...

Uh...Hm... How do I put this without sounding like an insensitive jackass?

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><p>It was humiliating!<p>

I couldn't get the freaking thing off, and Derek was just, just...

He was just_ there_, okay?

I had no other choice.

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><p>Now, I wasn't going to do it. No, I was actually going to ignore her.<p>

But I was like the only one there and I would have felt like a jerk if I didn't help her...

Look, it's not like I wanted to do it!

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><p>I had a date waiting for me for crying out loud!<p>

And I don't get asked out very often.

I mean, maybe that stems from my lack of knowledge in the dating realm...

But that's completely besides the point.

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><p>So I go into her bedroom and there she is.<p>

* * *

><p>And I was trying to cover myself up. I really was!<p>

* * *

><p>She was like, naked... almost.<p>

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><p>He wasn't laughing, though... Which puzzled me.<p>

* * *

><p>Honestly, I didn't know how to react...<p>

* * *

><p>Eventually, Derek found a way to move his feet and walk over to where I was.<p>

But_ that_ was far from easy.

He just stood there for the longest time, silent, not making any remarks, or any little jabs - nothing.

For a moment I wondered if he was even_ in_ the room with me.

* * *

><p>Look, it was a weird dilemma for me to be stuck in.<p>

And Casey's backside didn't help the situation!

* * *

><p>Finally, after minutes of Derek and I fighting and arguing, he managed to free my hair from my bra strap.<p>

* * *

><p>Thank God she was <em>at least<em> wearing pants... I don't know what I'd do if I came in there and found her...

Never mind.

* * *

><p>And here's where it gets weird.<p>

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><p>Casey is an attractive woman. It doesn't really take rocket science to figure that one out...<p>

So is it wrong for me to stare at her... uh, attributes? I mean, they were_ right_ there, practically in my face.

* * *

><p>Look, I'm just going to say that his eyes were <em>not<em> where they should have been.

I'll leave it at that.

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><p>Argh, and then Casey's little boy toy was at the door.<p>

* * *

><p>I was thankful for the interruption.<p>

* * *

><p>She went to the door, I went back to the couch.<p>

It was as if nothing happened.

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><p>Josh Stone - that's his name.<p>

He's in my literature class, and we get along very well.

And we're extremely alike - it's almost uncanny.

He and I have the highest grade in our class... and when the professor asks our class a question, we are the first ones to raise our hands.

Which is refreshing. I think in order for a relationship to work out, two people have to be fully and completely compatible with one another.

* * *

><p>He's an idiot.<p>

I ran into him a few times on my way to class.

He's that guy who's a little _too_ aware he's smart, you know what I mean?

I forgot his name... But I pretty sure it's Tosh.

Anyway, this Tosh guy walks around like he's better than everyone else just because he was born with an abnormally large brain.

* * *

><p>I was in a very bad mood when I opened the door, but as soon as I saw Josh's face, it all went away.<p>

He was so romantic.

* * *

><p>So Toshy boy pulled that sappy, romantic crap. He gave her a flower, kissed her cheek, and spewed out some clique adjectives to describe her eyes.<p>

I wanted to puke.

* * *

><p>Derek didn't seem to happy when Josh and I left.<p>

I don't know why - it's not like I didn't tell him about it.

I thought I told him about it... Didn't I?

* * *

><p>Casey never said shit about this dude.<p>

She never mentioned him, never gave me any indication that she was going out. None.

* * *

><p>Josh takes me to this wonderful cafe not far from the apartment.<p>

And it's absolutely breathtaking.

* * *

><p>I end up getting this text from Sarah, a blond chick I met a few months ago.<p>

She's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, if you catch my drift, but hey, I'm bored and she's hot.

It'll have to do.

* * *

><p>So I'm having a wonderful time.<p>

I agree with everything he's saying.

We even share the same views on family values.

It's as if we're the same person.

I should have been falling for him at that point...

But I wasn't.

* * *

><p>Sarah comes over and we just start making out.<p>

Not really much to explain, and nothing worth explaining, anyway.

* * *

><p>I just don't understand <em>how<em> this can happen.

Josh is a good looking guy - nice eyes, perfect smile, great hair.

And he's also smart and charming.

So why do I feel so _empty_ right now?

* * *

><p>Sarah leaves just as Casey's coming back.<p>

And she looks pretty happy.

* * *

><p>I was miserable by time we arrived back to the apartment.<p>

But I didn't want Derek to know that.

* * *

><p>She was laughing and smiling, and Tosh was holding her hand.<p>

They must have really hit it off...

* * *

><p>Josh kissed me and I kissed him back, and I tried really hard to feel something, to feel some sort of a spark between us.<p>

* * *

><p>I felt sick.<p>

* * *

><p>Nothing.<p>

I felt nothing.

* * *

><p>I turned away and sat in the living room.<p>

* * *

><p>Josh left and I felt relieved.<p>

* * *

><p>I bet she can't wait for her next date with Toshy.<p>

* * *

><p>I deleted his number from my phone that night...<p>

* * *

><p>A couple hours later, Casey comes back into the living room, in pajamas and face covered in green gunk.<p>

* * *

><p>I couldn't sleep.<p>

I kept thinking about, well, everything.

* * *

><p>She told me she just had insomnia - and jitters because of some test coming up.<p>

* * *

><p>Why does this keep happening to me?<p>

I meet the perfect guy, but somehow I always end up finding something imperfect about them.

And that tiny, insignificant flaw ruins everything.

* * *

><p>Casey seemed really upset, so I offered her some of my ice cream.<p>

* * *

><p>And somehow that made everything better.<p>

Just like that.


End file.
